You know, sometimes when you let go everything falls into place. I let go of all the things I had been holding onto, all the things I fought and struggled for, all the things that just weren’t working. Now, I have all the things I was afraid of losing, and a lot of it is better than anything I could of ever imagined. I took a chance when I dropped out. I disappointed my dad, but guess what? The world kept turning. I’ve got a boyfriend that loves me, a best friend/roommate that keeps me laughing, and the rest of my family has stepped up in ways I couldn’t even begin to describe. The first step was the hardest, but I wouldn’t take it back. It’s a lot like skydiving in that way. I was so terrified to take that first step out of the plane, I even slipped a little when I did it. But damn, that was the best experience of my life. Here’s to the future my friends. Take it one day at a time.

“Teach me how to use the love that people say we make” Laundry Room by The Avett Brothers.
There are so many different kinds of love. This was first brought to my attention in 5th grade when the Latin lessons began. Latin had many more words to fit our one word. I mean, in English, we love our significant others and we love sleeping in on a Saturday. But that isn’t right, and I think that’s where relationships go wrong. People say they love each other but mean completely different things. Someone ends up hurt. So I believe that one must be taught to love the other being on their terms. It’s crazy, I know, but it isn’t about you. I recently read that 5 languages of love book by what’s his face and while some of his stuff was bogus, a lot of it was pretty true. The reason people stay in love has to do with how they are being loved, not how they are loving.
You might think I don’t know what I’m talking about, and I’ll give you that. I’m only 21, a female and claimed to be “in love” numerous times. But I spend my days looking at pictures of cats/corgis and contemplating life. I use my experiences, my travels and my ability to listen to other people to base my ideas. I’ve seen couples in austria that were 102 and 101 that have been together since their early 20’s, seemingly even more in love than when they began all those years ago. I’ve also seen the 30 something’s twice divorced and a bitter view on life, love and the like. Using one of my talents I questioned them and listened intently to their answers. I began to see a pattern. Those with high expectations, with unmet needs and the idea that they had done everything they could usually ended up divorced. But those who loved with all they had, accepted their partner had no expectations and went to where they were emotionally and physically seemed to have a deeper, longer lasting connection. Those who were willing to learn, to change for the better ended up happier.
I don’t really have any idea where I wanted to go with this, hell, I don’t expect anyone to ever read this. I just needed to write down the words tumbling around my head, so that they would stop trying to burst out and let me sleep peacefully.

Every night. 2am, just like clockwork my boyfriend lays half on top of me as he is sleeping. I swear he does it on purpose. Waits right until I get exactly perfectly comfortable, and then just rolls on over. Jerk. Not really, it’s adorable. I just wish I had two hands to be typing this. Either way, he is adorable and I love him and all his bed hogging ways. Happy valentines babe, hope you don’t get too upset I posted about you while you’re sleeping. At least I didn’t mention you’re not wearing pants!